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How many Vicars?

Some light relief.

As I’ve said before, I strongly suspect that the vast majority of the parent-age attendees at the church we go to are non-believers hoping to get the school admissions procedure to work in their interest. The aim is to get yourself seen as much as possible, maybe help with a coffee morning or deliver some leaflets, and get the Vicar’s signature. I know this for a fact about some other parents who attend. We are friendly with two couples and often end up with them; sitting towards the back of the church – rather like the “bad lads” on the school bus.

Imagine the frustration a couple of weeks ago when a group of us were sitting near the back in the centre aisle waiting for the service to begin. About two rows in front of us was one of the Curates (I think that is what he is: a sort of junior vicar who sometimes helps in the service). I pointed him out to one of our group. She whispered back “another one at 2 O’clock”; and sure enough there was an older vicar (who may have given a sermon to us in the past) a few rows forward and to the right. After that another one was spotted at 10 O’clock – this time unknown to us but he definitely meant business with his dog-collar clearly visible. We all had to be on our best behaviour for the next hour and put on a heightened display of piety.

Where did all these Vicars come from? Haven’t they got churches of their own to go to?

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